Brazil: Day Two.

Hmmm. I digress. Last night when my Brazilian came home from the theatre, I had officially been on lock down in his house for nearly 10 hours. I had read every book I had brought with me, wrote in my journal, tuned my guitar... I was lonely, tired, hungry, and completely questioning my idea to come to Brazil in the first place.

When he arrived, he sat me down in his room and said that he wanted to talk to me... At that moment he dispelled every notion I had about him. He explained that he had just returned from a trip to Iguazu Falls the day before I arrived and hadn't had time to prepare things for me. He planned on going grocery shopping among other things and even that very evening had planned to bring home a pizza for us when his rehearsal ran late and every pizza place was closed. He went on to say that he cared deeply for me and respected me and was truly sorry that he couldn't offer me the reception or attention that I deserved, he also admitted that with his grueling schedule there was no way that he would be able to spend time with me.

I listened closely, and then - being premenstrual didn't help - broke down into tears. I told him that being alone all day and not knowing whether or not it was safe to leave the house, being cold, tired and hungry, that I was questioning my decision to leave my family and friends and move abroad. I should mention that due to my 2nd grade level of Portuguese this most likely sounded to him like "me... want...family...sad...not...know...right...move...felt...cold...(sobbing)" He was very gracious about my breakdown and he gave me the most platonic hug of my life and then we proceeded to talk about spirituality, have dinner with his roommate and play music all night.






When it came time for bed, I went to say goodnight to him (I would be sleeping in his roommate's room, as the third female roommate was no longer living there and the bed was reserved for me, which would have been nice to know earlier) I thanked him for picking me up and allowing me to stay and then I "suggested" that maybe we could "cuddle" for a moment... At which point in time he looked at me with puritan eyes, giggled, and said "how cute"... in response to which, I promptly hopped off of his bed and walked out the door with my tail between my legs. Goodnight, I called out... apparently along with giving up drinking and smoking, he has also given up women. Either that or he's just not attracted to me. Aw, who am I kidding, It must be the spiritual quest. Anyways.... all was well... I finally got some sleep and woke up a new person.

Phew. Looking back on the whole ordeal, I realized how my negativity had changed the whole set of circumstances for me. When I arrived in his little town, it seemed lonely and unforgiving... little did I know, it was a holiday and everything was closed. Ha! When I crossed an intersection, I assumed all the brute Brazilian men were honking at me... come to find out, it is customary for anyone driving in Brazil to honk when approaching an intersection.

As you can see, Once I was feeling alone, unsafe, etc... everything I encountered fell victim to this negative spin. Truthfully, I can't think of a better introduction to this journey for me. I spent ten hours inside a little two room shack which provided me with more than enough opportunity to monitor my thoughts and keep my "head above water" so to speak. I focused on being grateful, I reminded myself that "this too shall pass" and I realized that things could be a lot worse and I was just lucky to be healthy and safe. When I finally arrived at that moment of peace and gratitude was when my friend showed up to clarify the whole situation... hmmm.... coincidence? I think not.

Another lesson learned. Word for the day : Humildade.